To Be Continued.... The Story of My Life

I'm so mad. I finally got the balls to sign up for NaNoWriMo this year and I havent even hit the 1,000 word mark.
I feel like a failure.

There's still three days left. Maybe I can get reach 5,000 words. I'll be happy if I can get that done.

Well I'm off to go and write like I should have been all month.

I cannot handel this anymore. I need sleep. I know that my roommate can do nothing about her snoring but my god. Its getting to the point where I'm concidering moving out, but I can't do that because I would never find another roommate that I get along with as well as her. I use ear plugs and they are not working. It is getting progressively worse. I don't know what to do. It is affecting everything I do. I'm way to tired to do anything, I'm beginning to stress out, and I'm beginning to snap. I lashed out at my friend who lives across the hall for no good reason. I can't be taking my frustration out on other people just beccause I'm sleep deprived. It doesn't help that my roommate is very sensitive when it comes to her snoring. I can't ask her to do something about it. She's tried the breathe right strips and they do nothing. I also think that she had her adnoids removed and that doesn't seem to be helping. I don't know how much longer I can take of this before it really begins to take more of a toll on me than it already is.
I take a two hour nap every day and it does absolutely nothing.

I just wish I could move out. It would make life so much simpler, but the easy way out only makes things worse.

I'm never procrastinating ever again.

seriously howard gardner is the most confusing man that i have ever had to read. he is the guy who discovered the multiple intelligence theory. He makes no effing sense. If he gave some examples maybe i would be able to get what this he is saying. omg im so going to fail this essay. i want to die. im an english major im supposed to be good at essays and analyzing stuff. So why is this so hard. I'm going to be up until two in the morning again. i need to stop procrastinating now. and get this god damn essay done. three more paragraphs to go medre.

I didn't tink that college was going to be this hard. I had just as much work in highschool, but I feel like I'm always playing catch-up and it sucks. It doesnt help that I procrastinate like there is no tomorrow. I am trying to not procrastinate as much, but it seems like i dont have enough time to get everything I need to get done done, even though i do. I mean I took a two hour nap today. I did need it though, I would have fallen asleep while studing for my humanities test. Which is going to be the hardest test of my life. There are too many dates to remember. I'll have to start studying for the next test sooner.I started studying two days before like i did in high school, but it doesnt seem to be working. I could be stressing myself out though. I have a tendencey to do that. An example of that would be i registered for nanowrimo on the 4th and I barely have enough time to breathe never mind write a 50,000 word novel, but I am determined to do it. I have a really good idea forming in my head.

Medre... I have to go and study for that test some more.

thanks to the people who created red bull i am now awake for the rest of the night. it is crazy what a little bit of that stuff can do to ya. i drank one can between the hours of 4-8pm and now i am wired for the rest of the night. god i need some thing to do, but if is too muggy to leave the scantuary of the air conditioning. since i live in an 19th century farm house we cannot get central air so we are confined to having seclect rooms witth air conditioning.

any ways i leave for school in a week! im so pumped. i met my room mate and she is not crazy... well at least from what i could tell.

i have no attention span.

off to find something else to do....

No matter where I am they find me. Mean old men that is. I got ambushed twice at work by these nasty men. How does it happen? Do I have a sticker across my for head saying "Men 60 years+ please feel free to yell at me when I have done nothing wrong and have been civil the whole entire time." Seriously now?!

The first attack happened Friday night at work. I am a hostess at a local restaurant and Friday nights are always busy. It was about a 20-25 minute wait. This cute old man comes up and ask to be seated (he was a party of 3). I tell him what the wait is and he gives me this disbelieving look. I tell him that it might be shorter than that so don't go to far. Now we have call ahead seating which means that people call into the restaurant and put their name on the wait list. A bunch of call aheads show up and we bring them in as soon as we can. I go and call the name that is before the little old man and he comes up to me while I'm bring in the party i had just called and told me to take his name off of the list. I say ok and apologize for the wait ( it had only been about 15-20 min tops so it wasnt as if he had been waiting for a half an hour). then his friend comes up to me and verbally attacks me saying that we took in parties that came in after them right away. those people were the call aheads. I tried to explain that to him but all he did was cut me off and yelled "DON'T GIVE ME THAT BOLOGNA!" He didn't give me a chance to apologize either. he just started yelling at me again and then stormed off. People walking by (the restaurant is in the mall) were shaking their heads and saying he shouldn't have yelled at you like that.

Then last night (Saturday) the same thing happened again! This time the man was at in his mid sixties. He had a party of six. The other hostess asked if they thought they can fit into a big booth (it can fit six people but it is a little snug). The woman, who I assumed was his wife, said "No, we won't fit there we want a table.", in this nasty tone. The other hostess asked me how long they would have to wait and I told her an approximately hour. I said that because we had a party of eighteen arriving in about ten minutes and there was another big party in front of them that would not fit into a booth.

If looks could kill I would be six feet under. The man asked what about that table over there. I told him about the party of eighteen and he gave me a death look as well. I asked if they would like to wait and both of them said no very very curtly. I had explained the hour wait to the party of six a party of three came up and asked how long the wait was and I said 10-20 minutes, not even. There were tables that could fit a party of four or less. If we could have pushed tables together for the party or six we would have but there were no empty tables next to one another. The party of six was livid, mainly the man.

The man came over and asked for the manager. I said that I would go and get him. Not ten minutes earlier a little girl, who couldn't have been more than two, was found wandering in front of the restaurant. The manager was checking the men's room to see if the child's parent was in there, when the man asked for him. At the time I did not know that the manager was looking for the parents, so I wasn't going to go storming into the men's room just to get the manager while he was in the bathroom. I went back up front and gave the man the managers card and told him that the manager was busy at the moment and that if he liked he could call to talk to him.

The man stared me down and said "You call THIS customer service."
I responded by saying that I would go and check if the manager was done and that I would be back in a minute. The manager had come out of the bathroom and I explained to him the situation. The manager went up to the man and said that the wait may not be an hour long because if the other big party did not show up or if the party of eighteen did not show up we could get them in and if they liked we could give them some drinks while they waited. The man was just as nasty to the manager as he was to me.

It is just ridiculous .

I leave for North Carolina tomorrow. NC in JULY? What was I thinking. I'm going to melt because of the heat and humidity. The good part is that I get to spend a week with my friend. I haven't seen her in ages. My flight leaves at six in the morning. Once again what was I thinking when I bought my ticket?

medre... more packing

Who knew you needed so much when going down south for a week?

GRADUATION COUNT DOWN:
      6 DAYS!!!!!

I am so stoked. I'm going to be out of this hell hole soon. Everybody is being so.... ick. Like today after grad pratice i went to the ice cream stand across from the school with some friends and i felt like it was a pitty invite. i doubt that it was but it had that feeling to it and then the whole time i felt like a third wheel. im not in all of their classes so i miss out on some of the things that are going on and i usually get filled in ut to day i didnt. i got the gist of what was going on but i felt like i wasnt involved in the converation. part of tha was my fault because i ordered way to much ice cream, but i still felt like i was just there. then we went to the mall and once again i felt like i was just the veggie dish that nobody really wanted. then to top things all off i've wanted to get a tatoo of carpe diem written on my shoulder and now my friend is getting it. seriously?! im obviously not going t get it any more because that would be weird. i know that it is a stupid thing to be mad about, but ive wanted to get this tatoo for a year now all of a sudden she is going to get the same thing but on the back of her neck??? WTF! once again it is a stupid thing to be mad about and im proably just over reacting because im stressed, sick of shool, hte people in my class and basically every thing.....

hope fully once finals are over i wont be so ick.

.... and what do may flowers bring? Pilgrims! EeEk! I'm so excited, spring is finally here. It really felt like summer today, with the partly cloudy skies and absolutely fabulous temperature of 70 degrees. Anything is better than 30 degrees and snowing, although snow is good in the mountains. That way I can fit a little bit of spring skiing in.

Any who.

I have started to write again. Lately I have had the worst writers block. I have no idea why. To make sure that writers block will not interfere with my story I am taking the NaNoWriMo route of writing. Basically I am going to write a 50,000+ word novel in a month. Insanity I know, but it will be entertaining. As of April 1st myself and a few of my friends are starting. feel free to join us. its not fun to make an endeavor like this one alone.

"yesterday is history
tomorrow is mystery
today is a GIFT"
- elanor roosevelt

i was just thinking that i was in europe exactly a month ago. i miss italy so much the weather was so nice. It wasn't so blah like it is today. It was sixty degrees and sunny. mmmmmm... it felt so nice, the sun gently warming my face and lighting the cobble stone streets. I need to stop thinking of the amazingness of italy and greece and start thinking of summer, lounging on the pool deck and going to camp every weekend. 26 more days and then i am free!

Summer Dreams ripped at the seams. oh those summer nights

I leave for europe in three days! I am extatic! The group is spending five days in Greece and five days in Italy. I won't be able to pack as much clothes as I wanted to because the weight limit is 44 lbs. 44lbs!? Italy is one of the most renound fashion counties in the world and I can only bring 44 lbs of clothing. It is upsetting, but do able. I couldn't pack as many pairs of shoes as I would have liked, but I will survive. I still cannot get over the fact that I am going to ITALY! The food is going to be amazing. Although I am alittle nervous about the food in Greece, but thank God for peanut butter crackers. Unless of course you are alergic to peanut butter. Then you would be staying as far away from the stuff as humanly possible.

Must finish packing...Medre

I was finally not stressed, I was a peace with myself (with a little help from yoga) and whabam life gets in the way one again. I dont know what it is. I think I am a stress magnet. its just not fair!

But whatever I'm over it now. There is nothing i can do to change what happened so I just have to charge through and not stop until its over with.


until later

much love,

payton